Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A Visible Sign

I should not be up at this hour. I told Ashunoah that I would be in bed by the time he gets out of the shower. He takes long showers, so that means I have maybe 10 minutes to write this post.

I sneak in writing this book whenever I can. Sometimes I have spare moments when I could be writing that I choose to spend on something else. Last week, I was stressed, and once I put the boys down, I'd watch the movies that my father-in-law had dropped off for me. I didn't want to think too hard about anything. This was out of the ordinary for me, as I'm not a big television watcher. I can always be doing something more productive, like praying, or reading a book. Or blogging. Last week I closed the door to my home office. I didn't want to work.

It's tough to have very many lofty goals when you have kids this young. But I am pressing forward. I spent the afternoon trying to steal moments to write a paragraph. Wait, no...maybe just a sentence or two. Seemed like every time I typed a few words, one of the boys would bring me up some (pretend)'oatmeal' or 'cream of wheat' for me to eat, which I would, then declare to them how yummy it was. They would then tell me that they were going downstairs to make some (pretend) toast, and would be back up. But it was okay...today I was feeling patient, so I obliged them. The interruptions were numerous, but it was okay. Always, the boys first. I tell myself that if the boys grow up never even realizing that their Mommy was a freelance writer then I will have obtained my greatest success. I need them to know how very much they mean to me. And yes, writing is important, but not more important than they are.

So, it's nearly 1 a.m. and I'm sitting here writing. I finished another chapter tonight --- I was determined to. Well, I should say that this chapter's rough draft is finished. I am amazed. The women I am writing about are amazing. Their stories are amazing, and the words of these women minister to me with every chapter I write. Their words stir me. Haunt me a little.

When I'm feeling high on my headcovering horse, Joanna comes and knocks me off. The beauty of her humility is so bright it's blinding. And when I'm questioning just how often I want to cover (why do I really need to cover when I'm around the house, anyway?), Amber comes along and reminds me of the practicality and devotion of covering all the time. Covering all the time was the first conviction of my heart. But it can get inconvenient, hot and a bit annoying. Amber reminds me what a beautiful grace it is. Her humor warms my heart. I am made richer by the women who open their hearts and lives to me so that their stories can be told. I get the very privileged task of weaving together all the beautiful fragments of their journey --- one piece here, another there, till before I know it, a chapter is completed.

My concern is that this book may be too long. All of the chapters are pretty long thus far, and if it's ever picked up by a publisher, I'm concerned they may want to slash, slash, slash. I feel protective of these women, of these stories. All the pieces that have brought them thus far are important --- every one of them, and I want to get their stories told with all the depth and candor they deserve. Well, I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

The shower water stopped. And with that, I'm off. I hope you're sleeping restfully, beloved.

Grace,
M

7 comments:

Ahavah said...

I think I will enjoy tremendously reading your finished book.... :0D

Muhala Akamau said...

Bless you, dear one. Pray for my perseverence!;-]

Momma Jo said...

Dear M,
I haven't been blog visiting much lately. I was so glad to sneak in the time to read yours this morning. It's always refreshing and challenging... also encouraging to know God is still using my headcovering story - even if that be knocking someone off a high horse. :)
Blessings to you as you continue on with the bookwriting. I'm honored that my story will be told.

I also wanted you to know that what you said about if the boys never know you are a freelance writer what an accomplishment that will be. It's so true that our children are more important yet so often we push them aside. Thanks for this reminder.
Blessings to you today!
You are thought of.
Joanna "MommaJo"

Coveredwithjoy said...

Dear Friend,
Yesterday morning,for the first time in oh so long, I considered not putting on my covering. I have been sick and I knowing I would not leave and no one come, I thought not to. Guilt set in pretty quickly and on it went.
Yesterday ended up being a very tough one in more ways that one. I am so very glad I listened to the prodding and I was covered. I will not say that my day would have went any better or worse, I cannot know that. But I am glad I did not have to wrestle about my covering.

I am blessed to hear you are plugging right along with your book. I am so eager to read it when it comes out.

Muhala Akamau said...

Momma Jo,
The kids are calling as I try even now to type a few words to you. Thank you SO much for being the godly woman you are...your testimony precedes you, and God is using it in powerful ways! And about the skirt --- WOW! They are almost just alike!!

Coveredwithjoy,
Perhaps this is something some covering women are going through..."it doesn't matter; I'll just be at home, no big deal." But I can't seem to get away from it, either! I am so thankful we're on this journey together. What would we do without one another? Thank you so much for your honesty and candor.

The boys beckon -- Muhala, out!

Stasee said...

I am so glad to read that I am not the only one who struggles with not wanting to "mess with" my covering. There have been a few times lately I have gone without and just last night I was on my knees about it.

I can't wait to read your book. I know it will be a blessing to me.

God bless you,
Stasee

Muhala Akamau said...

Stacee,
Thanks for your words, dear one. They bless me. The book is nearly done! Maybe three chapters left to go. I'm excited. Can't wait to share it, and hope a publisher decides to take it on. Continue to be encouraged!

Grace,
M