Monday, December 29, 2008

Back to Life

It's the Monday after Christmas, and I'm trying to organize things. Get back on schedule. Get back to life beneath Cloud 9, as we had a supremely happy Christmas. Oh, it was entirely lovely. I think the day was nothing short of perfect, which was most welcomed, considering Christmas Eve found me short, impatient with the boys, stressed, overworked and underslept. It was a trying and challenging day. Then Christmas Day came and everything changed.

The Christmas holiday (zany, family and fun-filled days) found me dressed modestly (always), but (sad for me) uncovered most of the time. Hubby had days off from work and was at home a lot, which was wonderful. Consequently, I went uncovered, so as to honor him, as he prefers me uncovered, as some of you know. We had delicious and cherished time together as a family making wonderful memories. I did, though, need to get used to the fact that my head was uncovered. It felt strange to be uncovered for so many consecutive days. Today was my first full day covered. Ashunoah works long hours, so I can remain covered all day, then take my covering off sometime in the evening.

Dare I say I felt some connection between being uncovered and feeling slightly 'off center' spiritually? It's not that I failed to pray, or read Scripture daily, or act kindly toward others. I served tirelessly throughout the holiday, and you would probably not notice any (unpleasant) change in my behavior at all. Still, the holiday found me very busy, and I missed connecting with my blogging, covering sisters. This is the only concrete support I really get, and I certainly missed it!

I am such an oddball. At times I feel like I'm living a divided life: now with the covering, but since it's 7:00 at night, it's time to take it off. Saturday? Lose the covering. Sunday? Great, knock yourself out (hubby is fine with me covering for Sunday worship. I love it!).

There is, I'm sure, some crazy balance to this thing. Sure, if Ashunoah were in support of it, I'd probably cover all the time. But as it is, I cover whenever I can get away with it, for the most part. For some reason, this is the way it is right now, and for some reason, it works. I am thankful that hubby allows me to cover at all. What grace! And on the days we are out together as a couple, or as a family, and my head is uncovered, there is a reason for that, too. Perhaps I might meet someone and share Christ with them. Maybe my cover might "throw them" or make them feel "akward". Maybe without the cover I am a little more 'normal'. At least on the outside. Maybe a little more approachable? Who knows, but I trust God that there is goodness in this deal being the way it is for now. Amen.

Practice Your Peculiarity

Did I mention I am an oddball? The Christmas holiday, was terribly busy, and I had little time to "practice" my cover for Sunday worship. News: I try to 'practice' how I will wear my covering for Sunday worship. It's the same as laying out my clothes for Sunday, or taking my shower on Saturday night. The hope is that it will save time on Sunday morning, when things are hectic and sometimes scattered, trying to get two toddlers fed, dressed, into their coats and into their respective car seats. I am getting more in the habit of 'fooling' around with my covering: practicing styles, draping, wrapping, trying this here, fiddling with that there, trying this pin, yada, yada, yada. I like to be creative. It's becoming a bit of a problem (more on that later), but it's hard for me to just tie a bandana on my head and walk out the door. Maybe it's how I was raised. In my mind, I just KNOW folks at church are wondering: "what on earth is going on with that child's hair?! Is she in chemo? I can't remember the last time I saw that girl's hair." So, I keep them guessing with creative covering.

Anyway, Saturday was busy, and hubby's mom is in town. She is a great gift to me, as nobody helps me with the boys the way she does. When she is in town, we exchange our routined schedule for a more laid back approach to life. Ashunoah and I joke and say that his mom lives "heavy on the land." She never comes empty-handed --- she brings bags of clothes, books, games for the boys and always food, food, food! The house is usually in disarray and clutter during her visits, but I try not to complain, as she is a Godsend to me. When she leaves town and goes back to her own home, I can clean and organize. When she's here? Fa'getta bout it.

So Saturday was crazy. Next thing I know it's Sunday morning, the clock is ticking, everyone is dressed (I get the boys dressed before I get dressed), and here I am fooling around with this gorgeous fabric! It was new (to me), and I was excited to wear it, but I was just not rehearsed! Finally, I didn't have the time to fool with it any longer, and ended up at church in something akin to a draped hijab. The material was beautiful, the length and width, exceptional --- so, how could I not take a picture of it, right? My apologies, beloved. Somehow it was just enough for me to get to and from church in one piece. I felt absolutely ridiculous and was totally unsure of how I looked at church. I interracted with quite a few folks, telling what they thought!

Oh, well. You win some, you lose some. If I have to look ridiculous for the sake of obedience, then so be it. Next time, though, I'll try to be a bit more prepared.

Grace, beloved....

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